Showing posts tagged humour

10 commandments of a marriage

 10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE 

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven.
But so again, are thunder and lightning.


Commandment 2.
If you want your spouse to listen and
Pay strict attention to every word you say,
Talk in your sleep.
 

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand —
And divorce is at least 100 grand!
 

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage,
The man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks
And the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and
The neighbours listen.
 

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car
For his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.
 

Commandment 6.

Marriage is when a man and woman
Become as one; the trouble starts when
They try to decide which one.


Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake
All night thinking about something you
Said. After marriage, he will fall asleep
Before you finish.
 

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
Understanding, economical, and a good
Cook. But the law allows only one wife.
 

Commandment 9.
Every woman wants a man who is handsome,
Understanding, economical and a considerate
Lover, but again, the law allows only
One husband.
 

Commandment 10.
Man is incomplete until he marries.
After that, he is finished.
 

Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.

The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The husband decided to make a wish too.


But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, “It really works!”
 


Tamil names to suit their profession (source-internet) -:)

Doctor — Vaidyanathan
Dentist — Pallavan
Lawyer — Kesavan
North Indian Lawyer — Panjabakesan
Financier — Dhanasekaran
Cardiologist — Irudhayaraj
Pediatrist — Kuzhandaisamy
Psychiatrist — Mano
Sex Therapist — Kamadevan
Marriage Counselor — Kalyanasundaram
Ophthalmologist —Kannayiram
ENT Specialist — Neelakandan
Diabetologist — Sakkarapani
Nutritionist — Arogyasamy
Hypnotist — Sokkalingam
Mentalist — Budhisikamani
Exorcist — Maatruboodham
Magician — Mayandi
Builder — Sengalvarayan
Painter — Chitraguptan
Meteorologist — Kaarmegam
Agriculturist — Pachaiyappan
Horticulturist — Pushpavanam
Landscaper — Bhuminathan
Barber — Kondaiappan
Beggar — Pichai
Bartender — Madhusudhan
Alcoholic — Kallapiraan
Exhibitionist — Ambalavaanan
Fiction writer — Naavalan
Makeup Man — Singaram
Milk Man — Paul Raj
Dairy Farmer — Pasupathi
Dog Groomer — Naayagan
Snake Charmer — Nagamurthi
Mountain Climber — Yezhumalai
Javelin Thrower — Velayudam
Polevaulter — Thaandavarayan
Weight Lifter — Balaraman
Sumo Wrestler — Gundu Rao
Karate Expert — Kailaasam
Kick Boxer — Ethiraj
Batsman — Dhandiappan
Bowler — Balaji
Spin Bowler — Thirupathi
Female Spin Bowler — Thirupura Sundari
Driver — Sarathy
Attentive Driver — Parthasarathy